més que un sentiment

Sylvia, Lana, Virginia, Female 

poetry they have in common

stream of consciousness gets them going

who am I to be any different

a dark place I am attached to the wrong face at the wrong phase 

there's nothing wrong contemplating faith

until you are out of sight out of mind

is that really ever true

is it ever easy forgetting you

I'm at the end

I'm in the water

nobody's son my father's daughter 

remember when we were kids only who worried about making a friend

today we are buried lonely and we pretend

that we exist

I exist and I want to reach out to tell you a thing

I wanted to call you while I swayed on my swing

but you never felt a fling

Lana and Sylvia inspired me to create art

I had always wanted to mark that I exist n' to start 

if it is forbidden to share my sentiments with you so I do not exist

still I will rise from underwater n' to you hold out my wrist

into the abyss

 like an abyss

you delve into him and keep falling deeper 

there is only falling and falling 

 nowhere to reach

 

as firm as the mountains; 

as torturous as an echo chamber

his taste in fashion as mysterious as the afterlife, 

his taste in fragrance is pleasant, his music is heavenly, 

his voice          angelic

his words are cherries falling off of a cherry tree to which one might starve to death until one is able to pick une cerise 

branches full to the brim of cherries good luck experiencing the joy of the fruit

I am stepping into the byss.

I cannot promise you reader that this boy is a friend

He is more my world than my own. 

a warm blanket to me than my own blanket.

Comes the part where you enter his mind

it is like entering bliss.

a library equipped with all the materials about mathematics and metaphysics

summer and winter, 

war and peace, 

love and poetry. 

He is poetry                If it were not for him how could poetry exist.  

If it were not for him, bliss can not, shall not, will not exist

picture a world where you are starving to death 

 plenty of fruitful delights right at the center of thy palms

picture yourself unable to reach for any 

as you will risk falling with no return

do you scout the paradox? 

paradox must be synonymous to abyss

After all, this boy embodies both. 

dissection of our souls

 I am starving and I want to feel my cheek rubbing against yours

the only cheek I want to feel against my cheek is yours

I am starving and around me things are drying

flourish me and show me you are trying

If I were to open my heart there will be a forest lying

dead leaves against the ground     mortifying 

flowers blooming and youth crying 

hungry and dying 

If I were to open your heart what there is lying...

we'll find a way that isn't terrifying 

let me into the bliss of your soul

if only you could let me in

somebody new

I come back to life whenever I meet somebody new

anybody new

It's something like I get a booster and I fly higher

can you picture it? 

engineers, lovers, poets, artists, friends

that is what I am alive for 

those are the ones I owe my life for

they have religions and visions and when I envision

my life growing simultaneously as them

I desire more of them with careful precision 

not to creep anybody out

I don't want to creep nobody out 

I just want to love you 

so let me love you

inspire me         desire me

grow with me

for what do we owe life other than each other

and if you are a sister or mother or brother or father

or a lover

write poetry with me and let us share it with each other

once there was a baby

Can I be your mother and feather and wrap around you

Keep you warm whenever I need you

I held a baby today and for every day of my life I want to keep one

Would you be my baby

——————

Can I let you crawl up my chest the way that baby did to me

Make you smile and set you free

The city never sleeps and if I were to be your mother I shall never sleep

Motherly instinct     Him     He

To me I need you to flee 

—————

Don’t be resentful when I don’t listen to your call

If you feel lonely come and find me we can talk

Not the same way my mother never listened to me

Rest upon my shore like an orphan I’ll offer you a home

Not the same way you hardly had a home